Take your pick

You also know the feeling when you despise someone? When you absolutely can’t stand a person for whatever reason and might even dare to hate him or her? You then also know how it the hatred feels and how it sucks all the life out of you. How your energy gets lower the more you talk about it, the more you think about it and the more time you invest in it.

If you know and can imagine the difference in these two emotions, then why not always choose for the first option of love? Wether you love your partner, your child, your friend or mother. Love is love and the positivity of love literally gives you energy. Even when you had a rough night and a lack of sleep, a phone call from someone you love can get you through the day.

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The opposite is then also true. When you had a rough night and a lack of sleep and you’re talking about or thinking about something or someone you hate that makes your day even rougher. Your energy level drops even more and nothing can make you smile. So we all have moments we don’t like something, someone or a situation. How can we turn that around so you can get energy instead of losing it?

The first step is to realize you’re stuck in a bad emotion. You’ve been whining, complaining or crying for too long and you need to put a stop to it. When you realize what you’re doing it’s time to change. It’s literally about making a conscious choice how you will use your energy. Imagine you “hate” or dislike someone for something that they’ve done to you. Do you think spending hours of hating them will change the situation? Will it make anything better? Will you feel better? Probably not.

So the choice is yours. What you can do is first to accept that the situation is what it is. You’re hurt for example and that’s it. So how to move forward? The second step is to use your time for things that make you happy. Instead of complaining for an hour, you can write a message with words of gratitude to someone who’s always there for you. Which of the two will make you happier?

And it’s a matter of practice. A few years ago when I felt hurt I was so angry and at moments I hated the world. Nothing seemed right. But all the time I spent feeling angry and sorry for myself really never made me feel better. When I decided that nothing would change for the better until I started thinking positive it finally started to get better. So take your pick.

Don’t be so emotional

Remember when Simba’s father Mufasa was killed by his uncle Scar? Or perhaps you saw a cute video of a puppy and it touched your heart. It could also be that you passed an elderly couple holding hands. Did it make you tear up too? Or am I the weird one and way too emotional?

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Because that is what happens to me. I don’t think I’ve been any other way. Even though I try not to show my emotions, especially not during movies, I feel it all. When I was four and we went to see the Lion King, seeing Mufasa die broke my heart. At that moment I wasn’t good at hiding my emotions. So apparently I got up in the middle of the theater and cried quite loud that I didn’t like what just happend. Don’t worry, now I’ll just say it in my head. I won’t disturb your movie time.

But the same goes for seeing a friend happy or upset. When my best friends cry, you can bet on it that I’ll cry too. On the other hand their happiness will work contagious too. Now I understand what is happening, but when I was fourteen I didn’t have a clue. I remember visiting a friend who was quite sad and I would come home feeling down not knowing why.

So what can you do? Well in case you recognize yourself in my story, because perhaps you’re just thinking that I should be stronger. But the thing is I learned that knowing when to let your feelings out is being strong. You don’t need to be sobbing all day long, although if you do the contrary and smile all day, nobody will complain.

Getting back to my point of what you can do. First of all accept whatever you’re feeling. Whether it happens all the time or just occasionally. Accept that you’re happy, sad, angry, anxious or ecstatic. Ask yourself why you’re feeling that way and in case it’s a negative emotion, then let it go. Focussing on it will make it worse. Surround yourself in the mean time with positive people and choose to absorb only the happiness.

It’s important that you don’t let other people tell you that you’re too emotional. That it’s not ok to cry once in a while or that it’s weird if you’re smiling all the time. Your emotions can be your strength too. Probably you’re very empathetic and you can feel it when others need your support. There’s no such thing as being too emotional. It’s just about knowing how to use those emotions and when to let them out. So cry if you want to and sing a happy tune when you feel like it. Because there’s only one person who can feel what you feel, and that’s you.