Engaged & Mommy to be! Really?

So here’s my big announcement! The reason I feel so happy and the reason I was quite sick. Yes, it’s really true.. I’ll be a mommy! Oh and let’s not forget I also got engaged! And how did my life change so suddenly? And what have the past months really been like?

I shared the news on my Instagram last Monday, but couldn’t wait to tell you in more detail what the past months have been like. The reason why I had to cancel posting a blog a few times and didn’t give so many updates on social media as I normally try to do.

When my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant we were so happy. I was thrilled and excited and scared. All I could think was ‘please let the baby be healthy’. Finding out this news also explained why I was so extremely tired the whole time and as a side note also a bit irritated (because I was tired of course, totally not my fault). And then came the ‘all day- sickness’ which didn’t make me the happiest person either.

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It was very confusing, because I was and am truly very happy and so grateful for this blessing. I was just at the same time feeling so crappy that I couldn’t really enjoy it. Luckily that seems to have past and now I’m starting to feel better again. So now the time has come that I dare to think about a nursery, stroller, baby clothes and all of that.

Many people were very surprised by our news of our baby. They didn’t expect it and didn’t know it was something that we wanted. I guess that’s normal right? We’d preferred not to tell everyone it was something we were hoping for. We were very lucky it all happend fast, but when this journey started we had no clue if it would be a long one or a shorter one. Plus as I said before I like surprises and I like to surprise people too. Well, I guess we did that.

And what about my other big news? Engaged? Wow I can’t believe it and I am so unbelievably happy. When my boyfriend and I got together I just knew in my core I hit the jackpot. I finally found my one true person, the person I wanted to share the rest of my life with. Luckily he felt the same and therefore popped the question on our vacation in Cape Verde. I will share all details in the next blog, which will be all about our time on this tropical Island with these amazing whales. 

I think the beauty of life is that you should never give up hope, because you never know how close you are to your happiness. Last year around this time I could’ve never imagined how my life would change in just one year time. How I found my best friend and soulmate and everything just started to make sense. It was and is all I’ve ever wanted and I’m so glad I get to live the life I imagined.

So that’s it for now. My big news is out and I’m happy to share this journey with you. It was hard keeping it to myself and not being able to share what was really going on. Well now you know and I’ll probably share a lot more about my pregnancy, the engagement and our future plans. Just want to end the blog with a big thanks to everyone who’s supported us and is supporting us along the ride.

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Why compromise?

I live in a country which is famous for many things, but also for compromising. Well in politics they tend to do this a lot, but in daily life we do too. I think in a happy relationship you have to give and take. So that’s comprising right? How and why should you do this?

First of all however you want your relationship to be is up to you. It’s nobody’s business, but I know what makes me happy and that is balance. I consider balance in a relationship as sometimes you both get what you want and sometimes you or your partner will give in. How can making comprises help keeping the balance?

I guess in the long run it will help you sustain a happy and healthy relationship. This actually goes for any type of relationship. Wether it’s with your mother, your neighbor, your friend, colleagues or your partner. If one of the two always gets what he/she wants, well this person will be happy. The other one however will start to resent giving in at some point.

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So how will everybody be happy? Not just now, but also in the future? Learn to compromise. In the end you both want to be happy, happy together. So maybe you have to watch a dreadful movie for one night or clean up socks from the floor, again, but probably you get a lot in return as well. And if one of the two is really against something, perhaps you can find an alternative.

For example my boyfriend and I were looking for a new car. He was quite picky and had a whole lot of requirements and I didn’t. My knowledge of cars doesn’t stretch that far, so I had one demand. Let it please not be a grey car. I don’t know why, but it could be any other color but grey.

So we have a new car now and it’s great. It wasn’t too expensive, drives nicely and is …grey. Yes, it seems I lost this fight. However the other requirements were all met and more important than just the color. So I gave in and got to hang a turquoise bracelet around the mirror to add a bit of me.

In the end we’re both happy and… well I might have a bigger say in decorating the house, so there’s the balance again. What is important is to keep the communication going. Learn to understand and to listen to what is important for your partner and for yourself. You might be more on the same page than you expect and otherwise there’s always a middle ground that can be found. You’re a team and not fighting against each other, but with each other against the rest of the world. Just remember that.

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Self-Care Routine: When Feeling Sick

Sometimes you´re feeling a little under the weather. So what can you do about it? Usually resting is a good idea, but there is a lot more you can do. Therefore I always try to follow a self-care routine whenever I’m feeling sick.

Lately I’ve been a bit sick, which is probably due to the weather changes. Perhaps that’s why they call it ´feeling under the weather´. Anyway I had to find a routine to make me feel better. My normal routine doesn’t work at these times, so I had to change things up.

So here’s my top five of healthy habits when feeling sick:

  1. Sleep! A lot of sleep! You’re body needs more rest at this time. What better way to do this then by sleeping? A little nap in the afternoon counts too if you really need it.

  2. Water, water and more water. Once when I was in high school and had a fever I wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. I had exams and was very serious about school. So, I drank about 6 liters of water.. Yes it was a lot! But the next day the fever was gone! I’m not recommending to drink that much, but just make sure you stay hydrated.

  3. Healthy meals. Yes, this is cliche and probably not what you’re craving when having a cold or so. However you’ll feel a lot better a lot quicker when you do get your veggies and fruits instead of chocolate and cookies. Ok, indulge a little, but make sure you get your vitamins.

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  4. Go for a Walk. You might not feel like it and probably want to stay on the couch or in bed all day. Yes me too. The funny thing is that a little fresh air can do miracles. Since I have two doggies I need to get outside for them, but it’s good for me too. Even if it’s just 15 minutes taking in that Vitamin D.

  5. Be selfish! It might sound strange to recommend to be selfish. I do think that when you’re not a 100% at the top of your game you’re allowed to be a bit selfish. Do what you need to do for you. If that’s reading a book, getting even more sleep or being pampered by your boyfriend. It’s up to you, you know yourself best.

And that’s my routine of self-care when I’m not my best self. Hopefully when finding a routine that works for you, you’ll get better soon too. Another tip that I can add as a bonus is to be patient. Sometimes our body just needs a little bit of tender, love and care and with a little bit of time you’re back to your normal self.

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Celebrating one year of blogging!

When I started blogging one year ago it was like a dream come true. It might sound silly but for the longest time it was something I wanted but didn’t have the courage to do. I finally decided it didn’t matter how I would do it, as long as I did it my way. Well it’s one year later and do I still love blogging?

Of course I do! I must admit in the beginning I was super strict and hard on myself. For example I couldn’t skip one week of blogging and I had to find the perfect picture to match the story. I’m not that good with pictures yet, so especially finding the perfect image was a challenge. I created all this extra stress for myself which robbed me from the fun I was having writing.

In the beginning of my blogging-journey I posted every Tuesday (sometimes on Wednesday), but I realized that wasn’t the ideal day for me. Even though posting on this day was challenging I forced myself to do it anyway. Why did I do that? I wanted a set date every week, but it didn’t have to be Tuesday. When I switched the day up for Thursday I had so much more time to write and felt way better doing so.IMG_7664
Something that I was asked a lot is if it’s hard to find a topic to write about. Well when I started out it was a bit harder to find a good topic. In my case I really have to ‘feel’ the subject I want to write about. Once I have this ‘feeling’ it takes me a train ride to work to finish the blog. The more I wrote the more topics I began to find. Suddenly everything could be a new blog. When I became more aware of my authentic style I saw a potential story in almost anything.

So practice really makes perfect. I am in no way saying my writing is perfect, but I found the perfect way to write. I found a day of posting my blog which works for me, I got better practice with selecting nice pictures and I found my own style of writing. I noticed that when I started I’d put a lot of pressure on myself for no good reason. The point of writing is to enjoy myself, to have an outlet for my creativity.

What have I learned over this year? Relax and enjoy what you do. That was my point all along anyway. I’ll do my best to post a story every week, but on holidays or when I’m sick I just might have to skip a week. I learned to stay true to why I write and that is because I simply love writing. I’m also very thankful for all of the reactions I’ve gotten over the past year. It’s so nice to connect with people all over the world and share thoughts. So thank you and here’s to one more year of blogging!

 

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How is trust important in life?

Why is it so important to trust? And why can it be so difficult at the same time? Past experiences can block us from trusting someone, even though that might not be fair. Yet trust can be such a beautiful thing. So how can you trust that everything will be alright?

We usually have two choices in life. We can either be fearful and expect a negative outcome or we can be positive and trust the process. Of course the second option is the hardest, but it’s also the one that will make you the happiest.

When I look at my dogs I’m amazed of how easily they trust me. They both probably had bad experiences, since I adopted them, but they trust me either way. They trust I’ll feed them, walk them and give them my unconditional love. How do they know for sure? They can’t know for sure, but they just feel it’s alright (that’s what I imagine at least).

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Animals are very special in that way, because us humans let bad experiences prevent us from a happy future. We can dwell on the past so much that nobody gets a chance to earn our trust. This makes it hard for any relationship to work wether it’s a romantic one or a new friendship.

So what is actually happening here? As for so many things we focus on the negative side of life. We waste energy on fear, uncertainty and worry while we’re at it. Why do we do that? I think to mentally prepare ourselves in case of a disappointment. But does that help? Did the time worrying really help us prepare for a bad outcome?

We could also do the opposite, even though that one is a lot harder. We can focus on positivity, have faith that things will work out and trust the process. And what do you do then? You let it go. You trust the process and let it go. Every time you worry you should stop yourself. Stop yourself and replace the negative thought with a happy one.

It will take some time, but you will save so much energy not worrying. And another benefit of focusing on things that will make you happy? It will instantly make you happier. Because when you think happy thoughts you generate good energy.

And if you’re ever in doubt, just look at a dog or cat or any pet for that matter. Do they worry? No, they don’t. They just live their lives and trust everything will be alright. So let’s do the same with ours.

Why is self-love important?

Self-love might sound silly, but it’s actually extremely important. I believe it’s the key point to your happiness. Why do so many of us then struggle to do this? Is loving yourself really that much harder than hating yourself? And if so, how can you get to the point of self-love?

Everyone has this little voice in their heads. The one who’s convincing you are doing good or that you should do better. When it comes to what others say and what our own mind says we tend to believe the negative comments. Why not go for the positive words? Why do we easily accept it when someone (or ourselves) calls us a failure but we can’t do the same when we’re called a winner?

I think it all has to do with self-love. When I was younger and felt down I couldn’t deal with any compliment. I would it ignore it or immediately try to downgrade it. For example if someone complimented me on my dress I would respond that it was very cheap and I had it for ages. Why did I do that? I could’ve simply said ‘thank you’.

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Another example is that you can’t forgive yourself for making a mistake. Actually either forgive yourself or accept it and move on and even better do both. Making the ‘wrong’ choice is part of your path and will lead you to the right path. So don’t hate yourself for being human. Instead love yourself for realizing you have to make another choice, one that will make you happier.

Perhaps you realize now you don’t really love yourself? Well that’s great. It means you can change it. The first step is to understand that you deserve better, that you can do better for yourself. The second step is to accept yourself for who you are. If you accept the core of who you are, only then you will get to the point of self-love. The third step is to focus on the positive side of things. Every time you have a negative thought try to imagine how it would sound if you change it to a positive one. Much sweeter, right?

Obviously self-love is a process and it won’t change overnight. However every day you practice self-love you will feel happier bit by bit. I talked about it before but I believe loving yourself unconditionally is the first step of everything. Only then you understand how others should treat you, only then you believe in yourself enough to follow your dreams and only then you will understand you true needs.

Keep on having difficulty with self-love? Try to name a few things you’re grateful for first thing in the morning. After that try to name for example three things about yourself that you’re grateful for. In the beginning it can be hard, but it help you shine light on your qualities. Everyone has them and so do you. Every step towards self-love is a step towards leading a positive and happy life. So what are you waiting for?

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Quit saying: ‘I have to..’

Have you ever noticed how many times you say these words? ‘I have to go to work’, ‘I have to cook’, ‘I have to do whatever’. How does it make you feel when you say this? Lucky or obliged to do something? I’ve noticed the more I used these words the more pressure I was putting on myself. How can you change this?

First of all why would it be good to change your words of ‘having to do’ to ‘getting to do’? I think we channel a lot of energy into our words. Therefore it’s good to think of which ones to choose. Every time you say something it makes you feel a certain way. It could be neutral, but more often it makes you happy or not so happy.

A while ago I wrote about how stressed I was in my blog Relax and Unwind. It was a busy period at work and a busy period privately. During this time I was also going to the gym about four times a week and I ‘had’ to do a lot more things. The funny thing is nobody told me I had to do all these things. I was obligating myself  to do it and if I would skip something I felt guilty and I felt like I failed. As you can imagine this made me feel even more stressed.

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So I was the one who was adding more pressure. I did this until I broke and I was mentally exhausted. During my holidays in Turkey I thought of things I could do differently. One of these things is simply not saying ‘ I have to’. Rather than that I can say ‘I will do’ or ‘I get to’. It might sound silly and as if it wouldn’t make a difference, but trust me it does! If you tell yourself a hundred times a day (which I did) that you ‘have to’ do certain things it starts to feel like you really need to. And if you don’t? Well then I felt I’d let myself down, since I had to do this, right?

Of course this is something you don’t change overnight. I notice that at times I still say it a lot, but every time I do I stop myself. So I’m becoming more conscious of my choice of words. By doing so I’m lifting the pressure I’d put on myself. There is nothing I have to do, but it’s my choice to do it, which means I actually get to do these things. I get to go to work and I’m grateful I actually have a job. I also get to cook and I’m grateful I have enough food every day to do so. Try this and you notice it will make you look at your life differently. You will start to feel privileged and grateful instead of pressured and obliged.

Now that I’m practicing this new way of thinking I feel I get more room to breathe. Without this pressure I feel free and a lot happier. It gave me more energy to actually do all the things I always want to do without the obligation of having to do them. It even makes me feel less reluctant to do the chores I usually don’t like.

How can you practice this yourself? The first step is becoming conscious of when you are telling yourself you have to do certain things. Try to stop yourself every time you do. Once you realize you’re obligating yourself you can think of an alternative choice of words. The more you practice it the better it will go and the better you’ll feel. There are already plenty of things we have to do in this world, but the way you talk to yourself is free of choice.

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